Resistance is Futile by Tracy Kosofsky

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Quick adoption update

For those of you not following the story - we have had a referral for the adoption of a baby boy in Russia since February. We were originally supposed to travel to meet him in April (trip 1 - Russia requires at least 2 trips, with about 8 weeks in between - the adoption is "final" on the second trip) and due to a combination of issues with our agency (outside their control), the US government, and the Russian government, we still have not been on trip 1. At the earliest, trip 1 will be in October, but no one is feeling very optimistic, least of all me.

We're so conflicted about this. Our family feels very complete with Alexa, but I so much want her to grow up with siblings. There is a baby boy who is waiting in Russia for us. He's already older than we had hoped - Alexa came home at 13 months, our referral is already 15 months, so at BEST he would be 18 months old when he came home. The older he gets, the less comfortable we feel due to issues that become more common with children the longer they are institutionalized in orphanages. We signed our application to adopt in early 2007, when circumstances in our life (and Alexa's age) made another adoption perfect - and we had the (perhaps overly confident) expectation that it would take about the same time as Alexa's - 10 months start to finish.

Adam and I keep saying that if we were in a blind adoption region and had no referral information, we would at this point make the decision to stop pursuing the adoption. But it makes me so sad that we feel we already know this little boy just a little, and we were so looking forward to having him become part of our family.



Jayne said...

{{{hug!}}} How very sad and frustrating for you all! I hope it works out to the best possible result for you!

Theresa said...

Oh Tracy. You are in a tough spot. You have already taken him into your heart. I understand what you are saying though about the wait. You don't want to run into attachment disorder. Poor little guy. I'm sure your family will make the right decision for everyone.

~~Carrie Ann said...

This must be so hard for you, Tracy! I can't imagine! Hugs and prayers for you!

Tyra said...

Hi, Tracy -- I'm so sorry that the process has stretched this long. I know that whatever happens, you, Adam and Alexa will make the best of it. But I also know that doesn't make the waiting and worrying any easier.

Big hugs from Texas,